Tag Archives: Altering

RUSSIAN PRESIDENT VLADIMIR PUTIN: ‘GLOBAL WARMING A FRAUD’

Portrait of Vladimir Putin

Portrait of Vladimir Putin

A significant hurdle confronting negotiators trying to develop a strong climate agreement in Paris in December comes from Russian President Vladimir Putin, who has said “there is no global warming, that this is a fraud to restrain the industrial development of several countries including Russia,” as described by Stanislav Belkovsky, a Russian political analyst.

Russia’s pledged carbon dioxide reductions ahead of the Paris talks reflect Putin’s skepticism. They actually amount to an increase in emissions. Russia has said its emissions will be “70 to 75 percent” of 1990 levels by 2030 – which amounts to an increase in emissions from 2012 levels since Russian emissions are currently far below the levels produced in the Soviet era.

Putin’s skepticism dates from the early 2000s, when, according to Andrey Illarionov, Putin’s senior economic advisor at the time, his staff “did very, very extensive work trying to understand all sides of the climate debate. We found that, while climate change does exist, it is cyclical, and the anthropogenic role is very limited. It became clear that the climate is a complicated system and that, so far, the evidence presented for the need to ‘fight’ global warming was rather unfounded.”

 H. Sterling Burnett

In 2004, for the Kyoto Convention, Putin saw this Powerpoint Presentation by Russian Scientists and Economists about CO2 Global Warming. See all the Charts and Graphs Presented, then and see How they still apply Today.

In the Beginning, was the seminal meeting in Kyoto to pressure the industrialized nations of the world to do something about Human Caused Global Warming due to burning fossil fuels, as theorized by the IPCC.  The theory had not yet been proven by the test of time, but had been politicized by Al Gore’s Book and Film “Inconvenient Truth”  The resultant social and political environment urged industrialized nations to take dramatic action because, IF the IPCC was right, immediate action was required to prevent a climate apocalypse, or it would be impossible to stop later.

But what did non-politicized scientists and economists see when examining the facts?  Be sure to see ALL of the charts and graphs in this Russian presentation and then make up your own mind as if you were Putin:

http://iccfglobal.org/ppt/Illarionov-013004.html.ppt

Note: This online links to the Powerpoint presentation have been blocked off and on as of August 1, 2016.  If it doesn’t work, try again later. I was able to find the title page of the presentation, shown here. The presentation is so clear and definite showing that Humans cannot change the weather using CO2, and that the social and economic damages from trying to do the impossible are, of course, extreme without end.Kyoto Protocol and Russia Illarionov-013004html

Here is a link to the Guardian Article of May 19, 2004 with a summary. Below the link is the text of the article it links to:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2004/may/19/environment.russia

“Leading Russian scientists told President Vladimir Putin yesterday that the Kyoto emissions treaty discriminates against Russia, would damage its economy and would not significantly reduce global warming, increasing the chance that the Kremlin will refuse to ratify the agreement.

Experts from the Russian Academy of Sciences submitted a report to the Kremlin containing their long-awaited assessment of the scientific virtues of the pact for Russia. The document, according to the Interfax news agency, said: “Its effectiveness in reducing the concentration of greenhouse gases in line with the framework convention on the climate change is low.”

The scientists added that global warming was occurring, but that to conclude that “the warming is occurring exclusively due to anthropogenic pollutants, namely, manmade emissions” was questionable.

They said the total benefit to Russia would be a small drop in the concentration of carbon dioxide in the air over the next 10 years, but the total cost of the pact’s emission-reduction measures would be “tens of trillions of dollars over a hundred years”.

The report said: “If Russia ratifies the Kyoto protocol, it would have to either reduce its economic growth or buy additional quotas on greenhouse emissions.” The scientists added that Russia’s extreme climate was not taken into account by the protocol.

The report, signed by a fierce Kyoto critic, Yuri Israel, will give Mr Putin the scientific justification he needs to kill off the treaty.

To come into effect, the 1997 protocol must be ratified by at least 55 countries which accounted for 55% of global greenhouse gas emissions in 1990. After the US and other key states rejected the pact, Russia’s ratification became key for it to come into effect.

Mr Putin has procrastinated over the decision for months, saying he will not sign anything while it remains against Russia’s national interests, yet apparently holding out for last minute concessions from the EU.

His key adviser, Andrei Illarionov, has repeatedly panned the treaty, saying it would amount to an “economic Auschwitz” for growth in Russia, where the Kremlin has ambitiously pledged to double GDP in 10 years.

On Friday, a Russia-EU summit in Moscow will see increased pressure for Russia to sign. Yet Mr Putin is thought to be torn between rejecting the treaty, which could ease Moscow’s frayed relations with Washington and remove perceived constraints on economic growth, and ratifying it, which would improve its standing with the EU, its new, expanding neighbour.

The US is responsible for 24% of the world’s carbon dioxide emissions, while Russia accounts for 17.4%. Moscow in any case faces a daunting task in meeting treaty requirements, given its legacy of polluting Soviet industries.

The EU, Japan and the rest of the developed world adopted the agreement more than three years ago.”

Annual “COP” fundraisers have put political and social pressure on world governments to continue with these agreements.  These United Nations fundraisers and their extortion funds THEM, and also gets commitments for internal spending that keeps lots of Scientists and Politicians employed.  “Green Energy” projects are subsidized regardless of economic damage to the economy of nations and the consequential higher cost of living for those least able to afford it as their energy bills leap up.  All of this is allowed to continue, as long as nobody challenges the basic assumption that humans and CO2 control the Earth’s Climate despite ample extensive evidence that it does not.

Putin and RUSSIA have been laughing at us since then. So has CHINA and INDIA, because they all saw the same information from their own Scientists and Economists. However,  Political, Social, and Economic extortion by the United Nations IPCC and the United States anti Fossil Fuel movement, has kept them in line… but not for long… as the real climate will “Trump” “Politicized Science”.  Of course, nobody will pay for these transgressions, and that is why they can do it.

We in the United States, and in Russia, and China and India and Europe, and in Australia, did not do independent analysis of the core theory of Human Caused CO2 Global Warming Climate Change… or did we?  The Emperor will soon be exposed as having no clothes, but surely he will not be embarassed.  Instead, he will claim, as usual, that “He knows better than we do what is good for us” despite the damage done.  Who is “He”? look to the United Nations, who created the IPCC, and conspired with the Politicized Scientists they employed, to grab centralized political, social, and economic power worldwide.  There is a touch of evil there. Beware, they will not give up their agenda.

 

 

UK HadCRUT, US NASA GISS, US NCDC, AustraliaMet ALL Altered Their Official Temperature Data Records to Make Warming – See Graphs of the changes Here

UK HadCRUT, US NASA GISS, US NCDC, AustraliaMet ALL Altered Their Temperature Data Records to Make Warming – See Graphs Here

Written by Paul Litely at Paullitely.com

These tweets link to a site that clearly shows with
GRAPHS OF THE CHANGES MADE
how temperature records were and are manipulated all over the world. The early half of the 1900’s were made to look colder while the last half of the 1900’s are made to look warmer, right into the 2000’s. Peaks of warming in the past were clipped off. Troughs of cooling were also clipped off, all to create a warming trend, to suppress the effects of ocean El Ninos and La Mina’s, and to enable new “Record” High temperatures today. So now we can see how claims are made today that new record warm temperatures are happening…. when they are not. We can also see how the long straight handle of the “Hockeystick” IPCC graphs are made from past S curves. Their models cannot even predict the PAST. Who can you trust if they change the actual Raw measurements in an obvious slant to match their story?
Click on the links below to see how nearly all “Authorities” on temperature records have tilted or clipped their records to make warming that does not exist. Their patterns are obviously self-serving.

One justification given for making “Homogenizing” adjustments is because some thermometers used started out in open areas, but paving and buildings were added nearby. They call this the “heat island” effect, because replacing soil and greenery with Manmade structures adds heat. However, this would only justify LOWERING recent measurements to compensate. What we observe is lowering earlier measurements and raising recent measurements. That is opposite of the “Heat Island”effect, so is plainly arbitrary change to support their Global Warming agenda. Notably, there has been such scrutiny of recent measurements that this “Fudging” no longer can be done.

For current articles with more proof of misrepresentations of the raw measurements, go to my Twitter @paullitely to see more. A common technique today is to omit measurements of temperature and Ice and sea level, etc for the most recent years after 2012. Recent years trends have shown dramatic cooling Temperatures, and return of arctic ice to even above average. Severe warm weather weather event tornados and hurricanes have become much less common. This does not support the Global Warming agenda, so recent measurements are being delayed publication as long as possible.

Twitter @paullitely: < US NCDC May2008-Sep2014 temperature records altered showing more #CO2 #globalwarming #climatechange
GRAPH OF CHANGES MADE http://www.climate4you.com/images/NCDC%20MaturityDiagramSince20080517.gif


Twitter @paullitely: http://www.climate4you.com/images/HadCRUT3+4%20MaturityDiagramSince20080225.gif EastAnglia HadCRUT FEB2008-AUG2014 #temperaturedata record altered showing more #CO2 #globalwarming #climatechange
GRAPH OF CHANGES MADE

Twitter @paullitely: http://www.climate4you.com/images/GISS%20MaturityDiagramSince20080517.gif NASA GoddardInSpaceStudies May2008-Sep2014 alters temperature record showing more #CO2 #globalwarming #climatechange
GRAPH OF CHANGES MADE

Twitter @paullitely: http://www.climate4you.com/images/GISS%20ChangeVersion3minus2.gif NASA GoddardInstituteSpaceStudies Nov2011 altered temperature record showing more #CO2 #globalwarming #climatechange
GRAPH OF CHANGES MADE

NASA GISS ARTICLE: http://notrickszone.com/2012/03/01/data-tamperin-giss-caught-red-handed-manipulaing-data-to-produce-arctic-climate-history-revision/

Twitter @paullitely: http://www.climate4you.com/images/NCDC%20ChangeVersion2-3Diagram201104-201105.gif US NCDC April 2011 altered temperature records showing more #CO2 #globalwarming #climatechange
GRAPH OF CHANGES MADE

Twitter @paullitely: #Australia “Scientists” Caught Red-Handed making up #CO2 #globalwarming trends http://news.heartland.org/newspaper-article/2014/09/19/australian-meteorologists-caught-fudging-numbers

Twitter @paullitely: #Australia again way out front -now- on #deadly #globalcooling Don’t trust Bureau of Meteorology, says Abbott govt http://reneweconomy.com.au/2014/dont-trust-bureau-of-meteorology-says-abbotts-business-advisor-54948

Climatologist Summarizes Global Warming As an Investigator.

Here is a link to a summary of what is happening in the search for a complete picture of the Global Warming controversy by a Respected Climatologist.  He has written a book about his findings, based on the Assumption there will be extreme Global Warming.

https://w3.newsmax.com/LP/Finance/RWL/RWL-Dark-Winter?dkt_nbr=6hiqkkoq

SEE OLDER POSTS

Almost Daily New Recognition of Deliberate Changes to the Temperature Records to MAKE it appear the Earth is Warming

Almost Daily New Recognition of Deliberate Changes to the Temperature Records to MAKE it appear the Earth is Warming

There is no No human made CO2 Globalwarming: Fiddling with temperature data is the biggest science scandal ever – More experts and Journalists are simply looking at the raw measurements with astonishment.

http://t.co/kVa6SpUbZV

The Truth Behind Temperature Records Used for ALL Global Warming Claims

Although it has been emerging for seven years or more, one of the most extraordinary scandals of our time has never hit the headlines. Yet another little example of it lately caught my eye when, in the wake of those excited claims that 2014 was “the hottest year on record”, I saw the headline on a climate blog: “Massive tampering with temperatures in South America”. The evidence on Notalotofpeopleknowthat, uncovered by Paul Homewood, was indeed striking.

Puzzled by those “2014 hottest ever” claims, which were led by the most quoted of all the five official global temperature records – Nasa’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies (Giss) – Homewood examined a place in the world where Giss was showing temperatures to have risen faster than almost anywhere else: a large chunk of South America stretching from Brazil to Paraguay.

Noting that weather stations there were thin on the ground, he decided to focus on three rural stations covering a huge area of Paraguay. Giss showed it as having recorded, between 1950 and 2014, a particularly steep temperature rise of more than 1.5C: twice the accepted global increase for the whole of the 20th century.

But when Homewood was then able to check Giss’s figures against the original data from which they were derived, he found that they had been altered. Far from the new graph showing any rise, it showed temperatures in fact having declined over those 65 years by a full degree. When he did the same for the other two stations, he found the same. In each case, the original data showed not a rise but a decline.

Homewood had in fact uncovered yet another example of the thousands of pieces of evidence coming to light in recent years that show that something very odd has been going on with the temperature data relied on by the world’s scientists. And in particular by the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), which has driven the greatest and most costly scare in history: the belief that the world is in the grip of an unprecedented warming.

How have we come to be told that global temperatures have suddenly taken a great leap upwards to their highest level in 1,000 years? In fact, it has been no greater than their upward leaps between 1860 and 1880, and 1910 and 1940, as part of that gradual natural warming since the world emerged from its centuries-long “Little Ice Age” around 200 years ago.

This belief has rested entirely on five official data records. Three of these are based on measurements taken on the Earth’s surface, versions of which are then compiled by Giss, by the US National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) and by the University of East Anglia’s Climatic Research Unit working with the Hadley Centre for Climate Prediction, part of the UK Met Office. The other two records are derived from measurements made by satellites, and then compiled by Remote Sensing Systems (RSS) in California and the University of Alabama, Huntsville (UAH).

The adjusted graph from the Goddard Institute for Space Studies

In recent years, these two very different ways of measuring global temperature have increasingly been showing quite different results. The surface-based record has shown a temperature trend rising up to 2014 as “the hottest years since records began”. RSS and UAH have, meanwhile, for 18 years been recording no rise in the trend, with 2014 ranking as low as only the sixth warmest since 1997.

One surprise is that the three surface records, all run by passionate believers in man-made warming, in fact derive most of their land surface data from a single source. This is the Global Historical Climate Network (GHCN), managed by the US National Climate Data Center under NOAA, which in turn comes under the US Department of Commerce.

But two aspects of this system for measuring surface temperatures have long been worrying a growing array of statisticians, meteorologists and expert science bloggers. One is that the supposedly worldwide network of stations from which GHCN draws its data is flawed. Up to 80 per cent or more of the Earth’s surface is not reliably covered at all. Furthermore, around 1990, the number of stations more than halved, from 12,000 to less than 6,000 – and most of those remaining are concentrated in urban areas or places where studies have shown that, thanks to the “urban heat island effect”, readings can be up to 2 degrees higher than in those rural areas where thousands of stations were lost.

Below, the raw data in graph form

To fill in the huge gaps, those compiling the records have resorted to computerised “infilling” or “homogenising”, whereby the higher temperatures recorded by the remaining stations are projected out to vast surrounding areas (Giss allows single stations to give a reading covering 1.6 million square miles). This alone contributed to the sharp temperature rise shown in the years after 1990.

But still more worrying has been the evidence that even this data has then been subjected to continual “adjustments”, invariably in only one direction. Earlier temperatures are adjusted downwards, more recent temperatures upwards, thus giving the impression that they have risen much more sharply than was shown by the original data.

An early glaring instance of this was spotted by Steve McIntyre, the statistician who exposed the computer trickery behind that famous “hockey stick” graph, beloved by the IPCC, which purported to show that, contrary to previous evidence, 1998 had been the hottest year for 1,000 years. It was McIntyre who, in 2007, uncovered the wholesale retrospective adjustments made to US surface records between 1920 and 1999 compiled by Giss (then run by the outspoken climate activist James Hansen). These reversed an overall cooling trend into an 80-year upward trend. Even Hansen had previously accepted that the “dust bowl” 1930s was the hottest US decade of the entire 20th century.

Assiduous researchers have since unearthed countless similar examples across the world, from the US and Russia to Australia and New Zealand. In Australia, an 80-year cooling of 1 degree per century was turned into a warming trend of 2.3 degrees. In New Zealand, there was a major academic row when “unadjusted” data showing no trend between 1850 and 1998 was shown to have been “adjusted” to give a warming trend of 0.9 degrees per century. This falsified new version was naturally cited in an IPCC report (see “New Zealand NIWA temperature train wreck” on the Watts Up With That science blog, WUWT, which has played a leading role in exposing such fiddling of the figures).

By far the most comprehensive account of this wholesale corruption of proper science is a paper written for the Science and Public Policy Institute, “Surface Temperature Records: Policy-Driven Deception?”, by two veteran US meteorologists, Joseph D’Aleo and WUWT’s Anthony Watts (and if warmists are tempted to comment below this article online, it would be welcome if they could address their criticisms to the evidence, rather than just resorting to personal attacks on the scientists who, after actually examining the evidence, have come to a view different from their own).

One of the more provocative points arising from the debate over those claims that 2014 was “the hottest year evah” came from the Canadian academic Dr Timothy Ball when, in a recent post on WUWT, he used the evidence of ice-core data to argue that the Earth’s recent temperatures rank in the lowest 3 per cent of all those recorded since the end of the last ice age, 10,000 years ago.

In reality, the implications of such distortions of the data go much further than just representing one of the most bizarre aberrations in the history of science. The fact that our politicians have fallen for all this scary chicanery has given Britain the most suicidally crazy energy policy (useless windmills and all) of any country in the world.

But at least, if they’re hoping to see that “universal climate treaty” signed in Paris next December, we can be pretty sure that it is no more going to happen than that 2014 was the hottest year in history.

Hottest Year 2014 Biased on Sparse Global Thermometer Coverage

The Hottest Year 2014 Claim is Biased on Sparse Global Thermometer Coverage, and not on more accurate and complete Satellite Temperature Measuring.

Hottest Year Claims Based On Sparse Coverage.

DETAILS! 2014 US Climate Report shows Clear Temperature Data Tampering by NOAA & National Climate Data Center  (NCDC), to MAKE CLIMATE WARMING

2014 US Climate Report.

Environmental Effects of Increased Atmospheric Carbon Dioxide

By Arthur B. Robinson, Noah E. Robinson and Willie Soon

Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine,

2251 Dick George Road,

Cave Junction, Oregon 97523

[artr@oism.org]

Click on page

GWReview_OISM150SeaLevelIncrease_Page_01

(OR, Click on the Link Below)

http://petitionproject.com/gw_article/GWReview_OISM150.pdf

Why Men Are Insensitive and Why Women Are Crabby

By Paullitely, 2007
Why Men are Insensitive

Before we are old enough to remember (so they think, but I DO remember), they bundle us to the doctor and he surgically removes some of the most sensitive part of the anatomy with or without anesthesia. Ouch! This then gets a bulky and abrasive bandage put on it that cannot be removed without the tape sticking. Of course, it has to be replaced many times over the weeks it takes to heal. It hurts and it itches. It gets fiddled with a lot. It heals.

NOW, the OTHER, even MORE SENSITIVE part of that anatomy is rubbing around exposed, uncovered, and unprotected in the diaper or underwear FOREVER. Wow! How can you concentrate on anything else with all this irritation going on constantly. No wonder there are so many “Dick Heads” to match the “Crabby Bitches” in this world. Every movement is another stimulation directed to the erotic lobes of the brain. Logical thought has to struggle hard to prevail under those conditions (ergo the species “Dopus Erectus”).

Then, the hormones kick in with puberty. Yes, like a junkie’s rush, whoosh! There goes any remaining semblance of logical, rational thought. Then, one day, there is this hardness with a mind of its own, and more irritation. With this comes a torrent of hormones. What a rush. What a ride. Yep, and meanwhile we boys are getting exhilarating muscular bulges and curves. And….OMG (Oh My God!)…the same kind of thing is happening to those tender young girl-children! They change shape into the most delightful, deliciously bulged and curved creatures we notice radar-like even two blocks away. What is this feeling? It is so powerful! I’m out of control, and I like it.

Now, all these bulges and curves of smooth tender skin are not being covered up to minimize the visual stimulation. Don’t they know it goes straight to the erotic total-brain with hormones streaming through it? Oh no. Instead, it is all being exaggerated and accentuated with bare skin, tight clothing, blush and lipstick and eyeliner and hair and high heels and glitter and suggestive music on and on and on. It’s PRE-MEDITATED TORTURE! Oh, just those fuzzy sweaters back when I was in High School were untouchably impossibly tempting. Now, it’s Victorias Secret catalog on the school grounds. The daddy’s little girls shine their big crystal eyes and speak oh so delectably, giggle, and compete coyly with each other to see how far off balance they can get the boys by looking and acting “Sexy”. To us boys, it is way over the top that the girls are doing these things. There just is no need for any more stimulation! Pouring gasoline on the fire! Mothers…..Fathers….What are you thinking to permit or encourage those girls? You know that the logical result is likely to be premature PG. As for the boys with the above mentioned irritation in their underwear, well…. They are literally ballistic.

So then, we boys-going-to-men have to work very hard at finding alternatives to put our minds on. Sports, Cars, Drinking, Video Games, Daredevil antics, any kind of totally absorbing distraction, This helps to make for some semblance of balance so we don’t succumb to being the total sex maniacs our hormones and environment encourage. We try to be in control. We try to be tough. WE HAVE TO BE INSENSITIVE! This is fed by all the other male instincts… to be the brawny, brainy, successful, flashy ALPHA bull-male who beats all and wins the females for his harem. And the girls will fawn over us then, we think, right? Hmmm.

But, the reminders and cues to the driving force for procreation are everywhere. So, we perhaps get careless and get married (read this as “pregnant”) and have children too early…. Before our ability to be a career bread winner is established. Well, we were preoccupied, and there is always lots of time because we are young studs, right? Wrong! After two to ten years of stress, beating your head against the wall trying to make ends meet and keep sane in a world of cranky bitches and screaming self-centered brats, sanity dictates divorce. IT MAKES YOU INSENSITIVE. So. . . . . . , it would have been better to wait, right?

Wrong! If you didn’t cave in to your sexuality and grab one of those blank-slate ideal beauties early, then you have to get them on the rebound. Unlike leftover you, who waited, the good ones you remember most got snapped up. As for those that remain? Well, there must be a reason they are still unattached. Yeah, just like you. There are always some holes in their makeup. Nobody is perfect, even if we think it is possible. So, you find your high school sweetheart ten years out of high school a little worse for wear, and fall in love all over again with who she was back then. But now, you get her, plus her two kids and ex-husband baggage as bonuses. DONT BE TOO SENSITIVE. Just be happy.

Wrong also, even if you got married early and had your own kids and divorce first. Well, if you didn’t do that, then surely you didn’t waste your time drinking beer, playing sports, polishing cars and chasing one-night stands. Or did you? You could have kept yourself distracted long enough with education to have a career that pays well. After awhile, you also get to when the underwear doesn’t grate quite so much as it did over the last thirty years. YOU HAVE BECOME INSENSITIVE.

If you got it right, life is quite comfortable except for the Abominable Teenagers. Now, here is an education in itself to see what you were like from the other side…. The Parents! Now, if teenagers won’t take responsibility for anything, the PARENTS must take responsibility for everything, and then its holy hell and nuclear war. So, you are the stuckee. Stand and fight, or Duck and cover. TURN YOUR INSENSITIVITY on and off spontaneously to adapt.

Then, the wife hits her stride sexually. Whoa, if only I was 18 again! It is quite exciting, but I’ve grown a bit tired of this bait-and-bitch game women have been playing on me for so many years. It may get them off, but it’s not so cute anymore. I am more “Mature” (and look it). Did they have to be so insecure and unsure and manipulative back then when they had the bodies of Venus? Now they are Venus on the inside. Is that Mrs. Robinson peeking (peaking?) out? Is she looking away? If only I still had the body of Mars. The female estrus keeps us up at night and their shopping keeps us working during the day. No wonder men have shorter life expectancies. Oh, yes, I am enjoying it. But my candles are burning at both ends! I like my cigar too, but give me some golf once in a while (to paraphrase Groucho Marx). IT HELPS TO BE INSENSITIVE SO YOU CAN LAST.

The next stage is Men-no-pause. It gives men no pause. What was a rational life partner becomes Ms. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde. Watch out, it must be something you’ve done or didn’t do. But what was it? I don’t know, but I had better not try to find out because I am supposed to know. No Pause. No quarter. Now I know the true meaning of “Approach Avoidance”. I need some distractions again. I go back to sports, cars, boats, games, and erotic alpha male daydreams. How long does this physical-emotional schizophrenia last? DON’T BE TOO SENSITIVE, or you will get whip-sawed again!

And then, it’s off to Viagra land, when the body is unwilling and INSENSITIVE, but the mind remembers the distant pleasurable past. Parts of the sex machine are wearing out. It is hard to pee, and it happens too often. It may mean that your sex machine will kill you with prostate cancer. Turn up the pacemaker, but slow down the pace. Now, we men don’t have quite as many old friends as before because they didn’t get as old as we did. This hurts because we don’t seem to be as close to our remaining friends as the “sensitive” women are. Fortunately, we can remember the good ‘ol times and laugh at our bold INSENSITIVE audacious past to feel young again. If we are lucky, we haven’t been quite so INSENSITIVE, and our partner is our lover, our best friend, our confidant, and our business associate. After a good strong life, “Fade into the sunset”. OR, if we have not been so lucky, we have to APPEAR TO BE SENSITIVE all the time, to live with one of those “Crabby Bitches” until we die before they do.

So, THAT is why men are INSENSITIVE!
________________________________________

NEXT PAGE: Why Women are CRABBY
by Unknown, 2007?

Why Women Are Crabby

We started to “bud” in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn’t even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn’t end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it’ was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn’t spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary’s Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee’d our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, “Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10),” warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that “cute” wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
Then come their “Teen Years.” Need I say more?
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40’s – while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: “The Menopause” (What do MEN have to do with it?), “The Grandmother of all womanhood”. It’s either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned “buds” or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life’s cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks…
So, while I love being a woman, “Womanhood” would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the “Weaker Sex”? Yeah, right. Bite me.
Send this to seven bright women you know and make their day!!! Or at least make them laugh a little…..

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow – what a ride!’ “